So, for those of you that don't know what happened, I recently got jumped walking home from my local bar. I was around 11:30, I think... I was walking by myself when these dudes walked up to me. I was stressed out beyond belief, so I asked them for a cigarette. Yes, I know, I quit smoking. It's been 8 weeks. But I was stressed and drunk so it sounded like a good idea. They gave me one, and demanded I give them weed for the cigarette. I don't smoke weed, so I didn't have any. They didn't like the idea of not getting anything in return. One of the guys stepped up and got into my face threatening to whoop my ass and kept saying I thought he was stupid. While guy one was in my face, the other guy pushed me from behind. I stumbled forward and as I was stumbling forward, guy one threw a punch. There was a moment where it felt like time stopped and I wasn't sure what happened. Then there just started wailing on me. I don't know how many blows to the head I took. I think this all happened in a matter of like 5 seconds. But it felt like it lasted for 5 hours.
They eventually just walked away throwing insults at me. I kinda just sat there for a second and wasn't quit sure what happened. Then it clicked. I just got my ass kicked.
So, I'm sitting here now with a swollen eye and a fat shiner.
I got me thinking... What the fuck did I do so wrong? I mean, like what does bad shit happen to me? I try my best to be the best person that I can be. I look out for my friends and family and I'm working on turning my life around and being a better person and literally out of no where, this happens. Why did I have to get my ass kicked? I never did anything to anyone. Sure, I may lose my temper some times but who doesn't?
If everything happens for a reason, what was the reason for my beating?
Friday, December 24, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
The Adventure
Picture yourself standing ontop of a cliff. Looking down below you, waves from the ocean are crashing... Clouds have rolled in and covered the sky. You can't tell where the ocean ends. The sun is trying it's hardest to warm the skin on your face as it slowly begins to set. To your left, you see a flag pole with a torn flag gently blowing in the wind. To your right, there's an empty cabin, looking at the sun set with you. You turn around and see a forest. The sky behind you is dark, and the stars are one by one, begining to shine. You look back at the ocean. The sky is still lit up, but the sun is gone.
Rain slowly begins to fall down. You close your eyes, and tilt your head up to the sky. The cold rain drops on your face and you exhale the cool smell of rain into your lungs. You get chills and a cool breeze gently pushes you towards to edge of the cliff. You extend your arms out from your sides, as if your were trying to reach the flag pole to your left and the cabin to your right. One more deep breath inside and you take one step closer to the edge. The wind picks up, you get more chills. You open your eyes and look back out into the ocean. The sky is now dark. the sun has disppeared and you see lights out in the distant from ships.
You take another step closer to the edge, the clouds begin to clear more and more. The stars are starting to show, and look down on you. You take another step forward. You're so close to the edge, your toes are hanging off the ledge. You can feel tiny rocks slide out from under your feet. You take one last breath in. You hold it for a moment. A gust of wind pushes you and you are now falling. The ocean gets closer and closer with every second. You close your eyes.
You fill the wind pick up, faster and faster. You can hear nothing at this point, except the wind flying past you. Your eyes are closed as tight as they can be. You're breathing heavy. You realize you've been falling for far too long. Open your eyes and realize you are not falling. You are flying. You suddenly feel very warm, and let out a giant smile. You can't help but to start laughing. You laugh harder and harder and louder and louder. You begin to dance and you quickly fly over the ocean. Dipping your fingers into the sea and the creatures under water watching zip past them with lightning like speeds.
A light in the distance catches your eye. You focus on the light, and with all your might, bring your self into it's direction. You continue to dance over the ocean as the light gets brighter and brighter. You now realize this one light has broken into many smaller lights.
Rain slowly begins to fall down. You close your eyes, and tilt your head up to the sky. The cold rain drops on your face and you exhale the cool smell of rain into your lungs. You get chills and a cool breeze gently pushes you towards to edge of the cliff. You extend your arms out from your sides, as if your were trying to reach the flag pole to your left and the cabin to your right. One more deep breath inside and you take one step closer to the edge. The wind picks up, you get more chills. You open your eyes and look back out into the ocean. The sky is now dark. the sun has disppeared and you see lights out in the distant from ships.
You take another step closer to the edge, the clouds begin to clear more and more. The stars are starting to show, and look down on you. You take another step forward. You're so close to the edge, your toes are hanging off the ledge. You can feel tiny rocks slide out from under your feet. You take one last breath in. You hold it for a moment. A gust of wind pushes you and you are now falling. The ocean gets closer and closer with every second. You close your eyes.
You fill the wind pick up, faster and faster. You can hear nothing at this point, except the wind flying past you. Your eyes are closed as tight as they can be. You're breathing heavy. You realize you've been falling for far too long. Open your eyes and realize you are not falling. You are flying. You suddenly feel very warm, and let out a giant smile. You can't help but to start laughing. You laugh harder and harder and louder and louder. You begin to dance and you quickly fly over the ocean. Dipping your fingers into the sea and the creatures under water watching zip past them with lightning like speeds.
A light in the distance catches your eye. You focus on the light, and with all your might, bring your self into it's direction. You continue to dance over the ocean as the light gets brighter and brighter. You now realize this one light has broken into many smaller lights.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Where Was Mine?
So, a couple of days ago I was at my local bar, drinking and having a good time. Everything was going great. I was happy, I had a beer, a big smile on my face and surrounded by my friends. In a matter of seconds, my smile was wiped off my face and I was filled with rage. I suddenly became angry. Ready to snap. 2 Marines came walking into the bar with their family. The bartender was feeding the Marines and their families free drinks because these two men, not a couple months older then me, just came home from a tour in Iraq. They were celebrating. They survived a war and made it home in one piece. They watched men die in front of them and probably killed some in the process.
How in the world can anyone be mad at something like this you ask? I tried to come up with lies to cover up the real reason. I tried to convince myself that these boys were boasting about what they have done. I tried to convince myself it was just a game to them. A game they won at. I tried to convince myself that they didn't take what they just did seriously. That wasn't true. It wasn't until now, I finally realized why I was so upset. I figured out when I was angry to see men my own age engage the entire bar into their celebration of making it home. I was angry because I never had that.
I got nothing.
When I got out of the Navy, I drove over 3,000 miles in 3 1/2 days. I slept in the back seat of car in truck stops in random states through out the country. Cramped in the back seat of my car, curled up in a little ball, under a jacket that was being used as a blanket, I was laying there knowing I was going to be home soon.
I finally arrived home. I pulled up to the front of my house. I put my car in park and I stared at my front door. I saw my dad come out to greet me. Leaving my things in the car, I got out and greeted him too. We hugged eachother and even cried alittle. Talked about how much we missed eachother and said how glad we both were that I was finally home. And that was it. Soon after I got home, he left for work.
I drove 3,000 miles after a couple of years of being cross country, and months of being at sea.... To sit in an empty house all alone. And that was my welcome home.
After unpacking my things from my car, and greeting my pets, I called friend from down the street and told him I was home for good. We came over, we smoked weed then went into my house and played Xbox. That was my welcoming party.
Tonight, I realized that I was upset with those men at the bar, not because they were proud of what the accomplished... Because any human being would be. And any human being should be. I was upset because no one celebrated when I returned home. There was no party. There was no gathering. No free drinks, loud cheering, no one told me how proud of me they were. It was me, sitting alone in an empty house.
After that, it was like I never left home. Things carried on as if I never left. Sure people asked questions. But when I tried to share stories, it was like no one cared. No one celebrated my arrival home. And no one wanted to hear what happened.
I think about the Navy everyday. Wondering if I should still be in. Or wondering if getting out was really the right idea. Sometimes I wonder if I should have ever come home.
Now please, do not get me wrong. I am super glad to be home and I love all of my friends to death. I don't know what I would be doing with out them right now. I feel lucky to see my friends on a daily basis, and I feel lucky to have the friends around that I do. I know my friends love and care for me. I know this because I see it every day. When I talk to them and just by being around them.
But sometimes I wonder.... What if I stayed in? If I stayed in, would I have had a celebration? Even when I came home on leave, there was no going away party for me. There was just goodbyes. There was no welcome home party when I was on leave or even when I got out. There was greetings and there was goodbyes.
There was no celebration. There was nothing. And that's why I was pissed off at the Marines. Because they walked into my bar and had what I wanted so badly and threw it in my face.
I just wanted to hear my friends and family tell me how proud of me they are and I wanted celebration of my arrival home.
Sometimes, you don't always get what you wish for. Life goes on.
How in the world can anyone be mad at something like this you ask? I tried to come up with lies to cover up the real reason. I tried to convince myself that these boys were boasting about what they have done. I tried to convince myself it was just a game to them. A game they won at. I tried to convince myself that they didn't take what they just did seriously. That wasn't true. It wasn't until now, I finally realized why I was so upset. I figured out when I was angry to see men my own age engage the entire bar into their celebration of making it home. I was angry because I never had that.
I got nothing.
When I got out of the Navy, I drove over 3,000 miles in 3 1/2 days. I slept in the back seat of car in truck stops in random states through out the country. Cramped in the back seat of my car, curled up in a little ball, under a jacket that was being used as a blanket, I was laying there knowing I was going to be home soon.
I finally arrived home. I pulled up to the front of my house. I put my car in park and I stared at my front door. I saw my dad come out to greet me. Leaving my things in the car, I got out and greeted him too. We hugged eachother and even cried alittle. Talked about how much we missed eachother and said how glad we both were that I was finally home. And that was it. Soon after I got home, he left for work.
I drove 3,000 miles after a couple of years of being cross country, and months of being at sea.... To sit in an empty house all alone. And that was my welcome home.
After unpacking my things from my car, and greeting my pets, I called friend from down the street and told him I was home for good. We came over, we smoked weed then went into my house and played Xbox. That was my welcoming party.
Tonight, I realized that I was upset with those men at the bar, not because they were proud of what the accomplished... Because any human being would be. And any human being should be. I was upset because no one celebrated when I returned home. There was no party. There was no gathering. No free drinks, loud cheering, no one told me how proud of me they were. It was me, sitting alone in an empty house.
After that, it was like I never left home. Things carried on as if I never left. Sure people asked questions. But when I tried to share stories, it was like no one cared. No one celebrated my arrival home. And no one wanted to hear what happened.
I think about the Navy everyday. Wondering if I should still be in. Or wondering if getting out was really the right idea. Sometimes I wonder if I should have ever come home.
Now please, do not get me wrong. I am super glad to be home and I love all of my friends to death. I don't know what I would be doing with out them right now. I feel lucky to see my friends on a daily basis, and I feel lucky to have the friends around that I do. I know my friends love and care for me. I know this because I see it every day. When I talk to them and just by being around them.
But sometimes I wonder.... What if I stayed in? If I stayed in, would I have had a celebration? Even when I came home on leave, there was no going away party for me. There was just goodbyes. There was no welcome home party when I was on leave or even when I got out. There was greetings and there was goodbyes.
There was no celebration. There was nothing. And that's why I was pissed off at the Marines. Because they walked into my bar and had what I wanted so badly and threw it in my face.
I just wanted to hear my friends and family tell me how proud of me they are and I wanted celebration of my arrival home.
Sometimes, you don't always get what you wish for. Life goes on.
Neglected?
I feel like I've totally ignored this blog. I think I'm going to start posting a song of the day here.
I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I've had nothing to say these past couple of days. Alot has been happening. And I mean ALOT. I wish I could say what's been going on, but it's alittle bit private. I think I can count on one hand the people who know everything that's going on.
But enough of that. Christmas time is coming, and it's coming quick. I have to figure out how I'm going to get Christmas gifts this year.... Money's running out and it looks like nothing's coming in for who knows how long.
I've applied to over 10 different places and not a single place has called me back. No one wants to hire me because I have no experience. I have no experience because no one will hire me. It's a pretty vicious circle that never ends.
It's like, as soon as I'm able to finally take a breath, something knocks the wind back out of me. It's beginning to become a real pain in the ass. But hey, isn't that what life is? Just a big pain in the ass. I know things will turn around, and I'm hoping that it's gonna be soon. It's just one of those feelings you have when you know something's going to happen, but you just don't know what, or when...
Well, fingers crossed to hoping that something good happens and happens soon.
Bye, I'm going to go back to watching Whip It. Ellen Page doesn't know it, but we are going to get married sometime soon. Maybe that's the good feeling I'm having.
Peace and love and all that shitty Christmas saying stuff to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.
Love Dann.
I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I've had nothing to say these past couple of days. Alot has been happening. And I mean ALOT. I wish I could say what's been going on, but it's alittle bit private. I think I can count on one hand the people who know everything that's going on.
But enough of that. Christmas time is coming, and it's coming quick. I have to figure out how I'm going to get Christmas gifts this year.... Money's running out and it looks like nothing's coming in for who knows how long.
I've applied to over 10 different places and not a single place has called me back. No one wants to hire me because I have no experience. I have no experience because no one will hire me. It's a pretty vicious circle that never ends.
It's like, as soon as I'm able to finally take a breath, something knocks the wind back out of me. It's beginning to become a real pain in the ass. But hey, isn't that what life is? Just a big pain in the ass. I know things will turn around, and I'm hoping that it's gonna be soon. It's just one of those feelings you have when you know something's going to happen, but you just don't know what, or when...
Well, fingers crossed to hoping that something good happens and happens soon.
Bye, I'm going to go back to watching Whip It. Ellen Page doesn't know it, but we are going to get married sometime soon. Maybe that's the good feeling I'm having.
Peace and love and all that shitty Christmas saying stuff to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.
Love Dann.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Don't Worry,Be Happy
I love this time of year. Thanksgiving and Christmas time. Christmas is my favorite time of the year and Thanksgiving is awesome because it gets everyone in that mind set of being with family and friends and all that warm fuzzing feeling stuff. I love it when peace and love are in the air. Even though it's cold outside, it's always a good feeling when it's this time of year.
I just wanted to come on here and tell everyone to enjoy the holidays, smile alittle bigger and be thankful for everything you have now. Because it could always be worse. So be glad you have a family that loves you, friends that look out for you, a warm roof over your head and hot food on your table. Let's all enjoy this time of the year. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas everyone!
I just wanted to come on here and tell everyone to enjoy the holidays, smile alittle bigger and be thankful for everything you have now. Because it could always be worse. So be glad you have a family that loves you, friends that look out for you, a warm roof over your head and hot food on your table. Let's all enjoy this time of the year. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas everyone!
Monday, November 22, 2010
I Don't Trust You
Fuck it, it's not worth it. And no, this was not about you. I reread this and decided to delete it.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Enage Insomnia.....NOW!
This is really starting to get out of hand... I'm trying so hard to turn my life around and become a better person then the one who I used to be. I've taken all these steps in life to move up higher, but I knew something would come around to take me back down to rock bottom. For once I just want a fucking break and to stop pulling the hairs out of my head.
I want to go to bed before 2AM. I want to get more the 5 hours of sleep at night. I'm getting tired of looking over my shoulder whenever I leave my house, and I'm getting sick of watching my review mirror. I hate of having that fear of nothing being able to go home at the end of the day. I hate being paranoid whenever some one comes to my door and think "this is it."
This was not my fault what so ever but I'm paying for it now. I'm getting punished for something I didn't do. I seriously thought this stupid bullshit was over with and I was finally going to have nothing to stress over. Even just hearing a car drive down the street grabs my attention. I hate this. I just want a fucking normal life. Most 22 year old kids don't have to deal with the shit that I have to go through. Like seriously, I thought everything was great. I've been job hunting, stopped smoking, treated my friends better, treated my family better, controlled my anger even with the lack of nicotine. All of my bills are paid for for the rest of the year. Things were going great. I thought I could finally sleep at night and not toss and turn and stare into the darkness for hours.
Sometimes I think of just jumping shit and leaving town. Sometimes I just want to pack my shit up, throw it all into the trunk of my car, get onto the freeway and drive. Just to go. I gave up that dream though, to make everything better. I could have usually used that money to take a train halfway across the country. But I used it all to pay my bills and help around the house. I stopped thinking about what I wanted to do and focused on what I needed to do.
It's like, I have always have this constant thought floating around my head, always over powering my conscience just telling me "you fucked up."
It's that it's always been. My entire life. I do something good and it get canceled out by something bad.
Honestly, if I wasn't so far from the California boarder, I'd probably be spending the weekend at some hotel out of state. Just to clear my head, to be away from my problems and to think things through. I'd have to prepare myself for the next couple of days, because honestly I do not know what is about to happen to me in the next, what... 48 hours? Things are about to get interesting. For good or bad, something is about to happen.
And for those of you thinking I'm going to do something stupid like hurt myself or anything even close to that, tell me your first and last name so I can remove all contact with you for being so fucking stupid.
I want to go to bed before 2AM. I want to get more the 5 hours of sleep at night. I'm getting tired of looking over my shoulder whenever I leave my house, and I'm getting sick of watching my review mirror. I hate of having that fear of nothing being able to go home at the end of the day. I hate being paranoid whenever some one comes to my door and think "this is it."
This was not my fault what so ever but I'm paying for it now. I'm getting punished for something I didn't do. I seriously thought this stupid bullshit was over with and I was finally going to have nothing to stress over. Even just hearing a car drive down the street grabs my attention. I hate this. I just want a fucking normal life. Most 22 year old kids don't have to deal with the shit that I have to go through. Like seriously, I thought everything was great. I've been job hunting, stopped smoking, treated my friends better, treated my family better, controlled my anger even with the lack of nicotine. All of my bills are paid for for the rest of the year. Things were going great. I thought I could finally sleep at night and not toss and turn and stare into the darkness for hours.
Sometimes I think of just jumping shit and leaving town. Sometimes I just want to pack my shit up, throw it all into the trunk of my car, get onto the freeway and drive. Just to go. I gave up that dream though, to make everything better. I could have usually used that money to take a train halfway across the country. But I used it all to pay my bills and help around the house. I stopped thinking about what I wanted to do and focused on what I needed to do.
It's like, I have always have this constant thought floating around my head, always over powering my conscience just telling me "you fucked up."
It's that it's always been. My entire life. I do something good and it get canceled out by something bad.
Honestly, if I wasn't so far from the California boarder, I'd probably be spending the weekend at some hotel out of state. Just to clear my head, to be away from my problems and to think things through. I'd have to prepare myself for the next couple of days, because honestly I do not know what is about to happen to me in the next, what... 48 hours? Things are about to get interesting. For good or bad, something is about to happen.
And for those of you thinking I'm going to do something stupid like hurt myself or anything even close to that, tell me your first and last name so I can remove all contact with you for being so fucking stupid.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Where Did Dann Overboard Come From?
Tonight, I decided I will talk about my nickname Dann "Overboard." Where it came from, and why it's stuck with me so almost 6 years now. The name comes from a Blink-182 song Man Overboard, which you can listen at the bottom of this blog. The song is about Blink-182's old drummer, Scott, leaving the band. You listen to the song and it sounds like there was a falling out with this ex member. They tried to be friends and work it out but his way just didn't fly with everyone. I'm going to break down the song for you, and explain how this amazing song, became me.
It starts off with "There's so much more that I wanted and there's so much more that I needed and time keeps moving on and on and on soon we'll all be gone." Simple. There's so much shit that I want in my life but I never get the chance to get. But it doesn't bother me too much because "soon we'll all be gone." I'll just take what I can get, but always want more.
"Let's take some time to talk this over. You're out of line and rarely sober. We can't depend on your excuses cause in the end it's fucking useless."
Let's face it, when you hear the name Dann Overboard, what's the first thing that pops into your head? Was it alcohol? Most likely. I drink. I am a drunk. Well... I USED to drink. I mean I still do, but not as much as I used to. I used to drink on a nightly basis and get hammered for the sake of getting hammered. When something didn't go my way, or I fucked up I always had an excuse. ALWAYS had an excuse. I made up excuses for everything. It got to a point where no one gave a fuck any more. "Cause in the end, it's fucking useless."
"You can only lean on me for so long. Bring your ship about to watch a friend drown. Stood over the ledge, begged you to come down. You can only lean on me for so long"
This is similar to a conversation I had with some one before we had a falling out. Pretty much what it means, to me, is that I would always turn to this person when I needed help. They became my crutch. My means of getting up and moving around. I would always lean on them. But, when they needed me, I'd sit there and do nothing. I'd listen but that was it. They would be suffering and I wouldn't do anything about it. But I would expect them to still be there for me.
"I remember shots, without a chaser, absent minds thoughts, now you're a stranger. Cover up the scars, put on your game face, left you in a bar to try and save face"
I'd get drunk alot and I would just ramble on about everything. Most the time I would go on about how bad my life was and all that drunk emotional shit. Ofcourse, years later, I realize how stupid I was. When I would get drunk, I'd be a different person. My views and my opinions would change compared to when I was sober. I'd become a stranger to my friends. But when I was sober, I'd hide everything. I'd put on a fake smile and pretend everything was just dandy. No one did anything about it. They'd let me do this, thinking it would help me... Or something. I don't know.
"Man on a mission, can't say I miss him around. Insider information, hand in your resignation. Loss of a good friend, best of intentions I found. Tight lipped, procrastination. Yeah later, See you around"
This is how I assumed they felt about me. I was on a mission to be destructive and slowly kill myself (alcohol, tobacco, parting, not suicide or anything). Ofcourse they wouldn't tell me this, but they would discuss it between eachother. I was a good friend, who tried my best to be a good person, but just couldn't take care of myself. They kept their mouth shut, while I kept procrastinating. Then they were gone. With promises of being friends again, down the road, they disappeared.
I never realized any of this until I sat down and listened to Man Overboard and realized "Holy shit, this song is about me."
Ofcourse, there are other reasons why I am "overboard." Because that's something I good at doing. I go overboard alot. Whether it comes to being paranoid, exaggerating, what ever. I tend to go overboard with alot of things that I do. Sometimes on purpose, like getting work done. Sometimes not, like overrating to situations.
I am Dann Overboard because I go overboard.
It starts off with "There's so much more that I wanted and there's so much more that I needed and time keeps moving on and on and on soon we'll all be gone." Simple. There's so much shit that I want in my life but I never get the chance to get. But it doesn't bother me too much because "soon we'll all be gone." I'll just take what I can get, but always want more.
"Let's take some time to talk this over. You're out of line and rarely sober. We can't depend on your excuses cause in the end it's fucking useless."
Let's face it, when you hear the name Dann Overboard, what's the first thing that pops into your head? Was it alcohol? Most likely. I drink. I am a drunk. Well... I USED to drink. I mean I still do, but not as much as I used to. I used to drink on a nightly basis and get hammered for the sake of getting hammered. When something didn't go my way, or I fucked up I always had an excuse. ALWAYS had an excuse. I made up excuses for everything. It got to a point where no one gave a fuck any more. "Cause in the end, it's fucking useless."
"You can only lean on me for so long. Bring your ship about to watch a friend drown. Stood over the ledge, begged you to come down. You can only lean on me for so long"
This is similar to a conversation I had with some one before we had a falling out. Pretty much what it means, to me, is that I would always turn to this person when I needed help. They became my crutch. My means of getting up and moving around. I would always lean on them. But, when they needed me, I'd sit there and do nothing. I'd listen but that was it. They would be suffering and I wouldn't do anything about it. But I would expect them to still be there for me.
"I remember shots, without a chaser, absent minds thoughts, now you're a stranger. Cover up the scars, put on your game face, left you in a bar to try and save face"
I'd get drunk alot and I would just ramble on about everything. Most the time I would go on about how bad my life was and all that drunk emotional shit. Ofcourse, years later, I realize how stupid I was. When I would get drunk, I'd be a different person. My views and my opinions would change compared to when I was sober. I'd become a stranger to my friends. But when I was sober, I'd hide everything. I'd put on a fake smile and pretend everything was just dandy. No one did anything about it. They'd let me do this, thinking it would help me... Or something. I don't know.
"Man on a mission, can't say I miss him around. Insider information, hand in your resignation. Loss of a good friend, best of intentions I found. Tight lipped, procrastination. Yeah later, See you around"
This is how I assumed they felt about me. I was on a mission to be destructive and slowly kill myself (alcohol, tobacco, parting, not suicide or anything). Ofcourse they wouldn't tell me this, but they would discuss it between eachother. I was a good friend, who tried my best to be a good person, but just couldn't take care of myself. They kept their mouth shut, while I kept procrastinating. Then they were gone. With promises of being friends again, down the road, they disappeared.
I never realized any of this until I sat down and listened to Man Overboard and realized "Holy shit, this song is about me."
Ofcourse, there are other reasons why I am "overboard." Because that's something I good at doing. I go overboard alot. Whether it comes to being paranoid, exaggerating, what ever. I tend to go overboard with alot of things that I do. Sometimes on purpose, like getting work done. Sometimes not, like overrating to situations.
I am Dann Overboard because I go overboard.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Mind Over Matter
So, for those of you that don't know, I've quit smoking. Three weeks ago. Today has been exactly 3 weeks since I've had a cigarette. I smoked for 6 years and have quit once before, when I was in the military and tried quitting again at the beginning of this year. Both times didn't work. When I was in the military, I quit smoking for about... 3 months... But the problem with that was, everyone else around me had also stopped smoking. We didn't have a choice. So, while we were all quitting none of us were exposed to the temptations of giving in and smoking, so it made it easy far all of us to give it. But as soon as I had the option to actually smoke, that's when the cravings kicked in and I lost control and gave into the urges to smoke. The second time I tried to quit smoking, I stopped for about 2 weeks. The problem with that one was I quit cold turkey. I didn't prepare myself to stop smoking or anything. I just woke up and said today I'm done smoking. Well, that didn't last too long. About two weeks late, I caved in and started smoking again. For about an extra 2 weeks though, I was telling everyone that I still haven't smoked. I didn't want to man up and tell them that I failed at quitting smoking at started smoking again. That didn't go down too well.
But yes, three weeks ago today I stopped smoking. I've been using some meds to help me stop and ofcourse the patches. After looking back and realizing that I have the strength to actually kick the habit, I started thinking. The only thing that really brings me back to try and smoke is the cravings. My head tries to convince me I need to smoke. So, all I do is ignore myself, tell me to fuck off and keeping Playing playstation or whatever.
It's all mind over matter. You can do just about anything you want, if you put you mind into it. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure we've all heard this when we were younger. "You can whatever you dream!" Blah blah blah shut the fuck up already. I'm just here to say try it once.
Before I was joined the Navy I was running a mile with an average time of about.. Eh... 13 minutes. Once I joined and got to boot camp, they pushed my limits... Well, that's an under exaggeration to what they did. They grabbed my limits by the throat and threw it off a fucking cliff. My limits were whatever they wanted it to be. After, hours, days and weeks of getting pushed and pushed and trying and failing, I started to run a mile and a half in 13 minutes. I was doing an extra half mile at the same time of a regular mile. What I was doing, was when I was tired, light headed, about to vomit and thinking my legs were going to give out, I told my head to shut the fuck and kept going. Towards the end of bootcamp, I ran the fastest I've ever run in my entire life. I was running a mile and a half at 11 minutes. That's faster then I used to run a mile. I ignored my own limits and set them to what I wanted them to be, instead of what I thought they were.
When you're at that point of giving up and calling it quits, that usually means, you're just getting started. Once you reach that point all you have to is ignore the pain and keep on pushing. Just don't give up and never give up.
I guarantee you that if you use the whole "mind over matter" trick to ANYTHING in your daily activities you will be more successful in getting to your goals. Don't believe me? Try it? I've stopped smoking using it, and I've got through the toughest times in my life doing that. I promise, any thing you are having trouble with just keep on pushing and never ever give up. Once you hit that wall and feel like giving up, push past it and keep on going. Don't stop until you literally can't move anymore. Never take breaks, never sleep, never stop. Keep moving, keep trying and convince yourself to never fail.
If you believe you can't fail, then you cannot fail.
But yes, three weeks ago today I stopped smoking. I've been using some meds to help me stop and ofcourse the patches. After looking back and realizing that I have the strength to actually kick the habit, I started thinking. The only thing that really brings me back to try and smoke is the cravings. My head tries to convince me I need to smoke. So, all I do is ignore myself, tell me to fuck off and keeping Playing playstation or whatever.
It's all mind over matter. You can do just about anything you want, if you put you mind into it. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure we've all heard this when we were younger. "You can whatever you dream!" Blah blah blah shut the fuck up already. I'm just here to say try it once.
Before I was joined the Navy I was running a mile with an average time of about.. Eh... 13 minutes. Once I joined and got to boot camp, they pushed my limits... Well, that's an under exaggeration to what they did. They grabbed my limits by the throat and threw it off a fucking cliff. My limits were whatever they wanted it to be. After, hours, days and weeks of getting pushed and pushed and trying and failing, I started to run a mile and a half in 13 minutes. I was doing an extra half mile at the same time of a regular mile. What I was doing, was when I was tired, light headed, about to vomit and thinking my legs were going to give out, I told my head to shut the fuck and kept going. Towards the end of bootcamp, I ran the fastest I've ever run in my entire life. I was running a mile and a half at 11 minutes. That's faster then I used to run a mile. I ignored my own limits and set them to what I wanted them to be, instead of what I thought they were.
When you're at that point of giving up and calling it quits, that usually means, you're just getting started. Once you reach that point all you have to is ignore the pain and keep on pushing. Just don't give up and never give up.
I guarantee you that if you use the whole "mind over matter" trick to ANYTHING in your daily activities you will be more successful in getting to your goals. Don't believe me? Try it? I've stopped smoking using it, and I've got through the toughest times in my life doing that. I promise, any thing you are having trouble with just keep on pushing and never ever give up. Once you hit that wall and feel like giving up, push past it and keep on going. Don't stop until you literally can't move anymore. Never take breaks, never sleep, never stop. Keep moving, keep trying and convince yourself to never fail.
If you believe you can't fail, then you cannot fail.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
To Walk A Mile In Their Shoes
Before you read this I want to say I'm not perfect. I am no where near a role model and I am guilty of being an asshole at times. My life isn't the perfect life and my life isn't the worst life. I live a very good life with great people and luckly deal with minor problems. I'll admit I don't follow my own advise, but that's not going to stop me from writing this.
I'm not asking for anyone to change their lives, break their habits or daily routines. I'm not asking anyone to go out of their way to do anything. The only thing I am asking for is after you read this blog, just think about it. Spend two minutes, ten minutes, an hour, I don't care. Just think about this.
We all have problems. Every single one of us faces some kind of challenge every day. Some struggle more then others. Some always fail, some always succeed. Whether the problem is an argument with a loved one, or battling with a life threatening disease in the family. Some people don't have a roof over their heads and no bed to sleep in, but you will not find anyone happier then them. Some people have everything. Money, big house, fast cars, a family and a hot meal every night. Some of these people never smile through out their day. Some people can hide their pain, and some people have to express theirs.
No two lives are the same. Everyone handles a different amount of stress. And the next time some one gets on your nerves, or annoys you or gets under their skin. Just think about the path they've taken to get where they are today. If you understand their life and the types of struggles they've dealt with you can understand why they do the things they do now. People who haven't dealt with major, life changes can either be stronger then some people, or weaker then some people.
I'm doing a very shitty job at explaining this blog and what I want to say. So I'm just going to stop beating around the bush and just come out and say it. When you think you're in a bad situation, walk in some one elses shoes. Look at your life compared to others. Realize that the situation you are in will pass, if you let it. Don't let life get you so down, because things can always get worse.
Something I'm not good at doing is thinking. But for those that are, try it before you do or say something. Before you do something, think of the reaction. Before you say something, think of what you're saying actually means.
I don't know how else to sum up this blog with out saying, "Walk in their shoes for one day." You may have a different outlook on life if you pay attention.
I'm not asking for anyone to change their lives, break their habits or daily routines. I'm not asking anyone to go out of their way to do anything. The only thing I am asking for is after you read this blog, just think about it. Spend two minutes, ten minutes, an hour, I don't care. Just think about this.
We all have problems. Every single one of us faces some kind of challenge every day. Some struggle more then others. Some always fail, some always succeed. Whether the problem is an argument with a loved one, or battling with a life threatening disease in the family. Some people don't have a roof over their heads and no bed to sleep in, but you will not find anyone happier then them. Some people have everything. Money, big house, fast cars, a family and a hot meal every night. Some of these people never smile through out their day. Some people can hide their pain, and some people have to express theirs.
No two lives are the same. Everyone handles a different amount of stress. And the next time some one gets on your nerves, or annoys you or gets under their skin. Just think about the path they've taken to get where they are today. If you understand their life and the types of struggles they've dealt with you can understand why they do the things they do now. People who haven't dealt with major, life changes can either be stronger then some people, or weaker then some people.
I'm doing a very shitty job at explaining this blog and what I want to say. So I'm just going to stop beating around the bush and just come out and say it. When you think you're in a bad situation, walk in some one elses shoes. Look at your life compared to others. Realize that the situation you are in will pass, if you let it. Don't let life get you so down, because things can always get worse.
Something I'm not good at doing is thinking. But for those that are, try it before you do or say something. Before you do something, think of the reaction. Before you say something, think of what you're saying actually means.
I don't know how else to sum up this blog with out saying, "Walk in their shoes for one day." You may have a different outlook on life if you pay attention.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Dream On
So, I'm currently on some medication to help me quit smoking. The meds that I'm taking are Bupropion. One of the side effects from the mediation is weird dreams. I've been getting weird dreams alot. A couple of nights ago, I had a dream that I was at some random house investigating a random murder scene. But this wasn't just any regular murder scene... Some one had murdered a muppet. It was my job to investigate the house of the muppets and find out which muppet was the killer. Now, this was a completely serious dream. And no, I don't know which muppet was killed, I never got to see the body and his/her name was never mentioned.
Another dream I had was that I was watching Scrubs The Movie. But this movie was... Um... Dirty... The entire movie was just J.D. and Elliot doing the dirty dirt. After the dream the next day, I was watching Scrubs on T.V. and felt very awkward... Almost like they knew I watched them have sex. The great part about that great, Elliot looks amazing naked.
Those are really the only dreams I remember because they were the most recent... I'm not complaining or anything. I'm really enjoying these dreams. It's fun to wake up in the morning and sit up in your bed and just say to yourself "what the fuck just happened?"
Another dream I had was that I was watching Scrubs The Movie. But this movie was... Um... Dirty... The entire movie was just J.D. and Elliot doing the dirty dirt. After the dream the next day, I was watching Scrubs on T.V. and felt very awkward... Almost like they knew I watched them have sex. The great part about that great, Elliot looks amazing naked.
Those are really the only dreams I remember because they were the most recent... I'm not complaining or anything. I'm really enjoying these dreams. It's fun to wake up in the morning and sit up in your bed and just say to yourself "what the fuck just happened?"
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Going Overboard
Ever wonder what's wondering through the mind of Dann Overboard? Well, this is the perfect way to get to know what makes Dann's world go round and what shoots him down. Get inside my head like never before..
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